Wednesday 8 October 2003

A tense few hours await me at my desk this afternoon and tomorrow as it gradually dawns on me that I've left it very late to book venues for the forthcoming tour in March. Hmm.

Yesterday was very interesting indeed: I was taking part in an SCO session with the theatre director Jude Kelly, in which the entire orchestra considered its presentation of itself on stage. We watched video footage of the orchestra coming on, playing, taking applause, going off again, and some fascinating discussions ensued. I'm always moaning in this diary about orchestras, but here there was a genuinely touching spirit of shared purpose, of listening to and accepting one another's experience, of striving towards a common end. I left rather humbled, thinking 'what a great bunch of people', and what a talented facilitator Ms Kelly is.

The only difficult moment for me was when we were all asked to state what our passion was. On reflection I think this is a rather 19th century Romantic view of the artist, being driven by some uncontrollable force that requires to be tamed. These days I think artists are more concerned with balance, and how to function and work in the world as it is, rather than being dragged along by some wild feelings about an abstract noun. Being passionate about music is a bit like declaring war on terrorism - you have to be more specific. Music can give you wonderful life-changing experiences, it can give you totally shitty experiences that screw you up, and it can leave you completely impassive, uninvolved and neutral. It's a means of expression and communication, but not really an end in itself. Robert McFall came up with the best comment of the day I thought: 'Music is quite unimportant, but it's like a vice, and I am very gripped by it.'

Meanwhile, much email discussion about accounting for CD sales (tiresome but very necessary), and US concert dates in 2004/5 (great).